That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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