wrigley field is MILF paradise
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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