2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
