drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
