Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
