This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
