She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
