i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
