just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
