Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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