do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The adults are the big ones right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize