i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
