do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
