Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
