Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
