I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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