Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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