By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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