I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
