he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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