let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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