Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
