She's JV to your varsity
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
