I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
