she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
