Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
