Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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