We got so high we made milksteak
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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