Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
