also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am available for nakedness
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize