Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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