only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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