i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
