im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
