i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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