the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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