I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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