Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize