party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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