be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
