Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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