i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
