We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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