i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
