We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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