I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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