but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize