Fuck appropriateness.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize