His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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