They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
