she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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