It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
