Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize