who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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