i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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