You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
