i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
