So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
