I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
