Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
